


angel ellipsis

by mazies



Series: our lonely limbs [2]
Category: New Girl (TV 2011)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Slow Burn, au: jess moves out of the loft, does it still count as a slow burn when it's a series of one-shots, jess does a bad job of moving on, nick is not being helpful
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-10
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-16 06:33:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29327850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mazies/pseuds/mazies
Summary: You may now hang up to send your message.To review your message, press 2.To re-record your message, press 3.To send your message—
Relationships: Jessica Day/Nick Miller
Series: our lonely limbs [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2134692
Comments: 10
Kudos: 19





	angel ellipsis

**Author's Note:**

> broke: nick keeps trying to call jess and is frustrated because she won't answer
> 
> woke: nick leaves jess voicemails every day because his day sucks if he doesn't talk to her

Jess is doing an okay job, all things considered. No emails, no texts, no calls. And, amazingly, no Dirty Dancing.

And then there's Nick.

Nick, who sends her voicemails every day — long ones. He talks about his nights at the bar and how he's taking more shifts because he feels like he needs to be busy, which is amazing in and of itself. He talks about Winston and Aly planning their wedding and leaving all sorts of wedding planning stuff on the dining table instead of a binder like Winston normally would.

He talks about eating the ice cream she left in the freezer and sitting on the couch discussing baby names with Schmidt. (He reminds her about that one bet he made with Schmidt years ago, that his first kid has to be named Reginald VelJohnson, and instead of an explosion, Jess's chest just _aches_.)

He talks about how he's started taking notes during his day just so he can recount it all for this voicemail version of Jess that he still has, because somehow Jess hasn't blocked his number yet.

He talks about how he misses her.

And Jess, well, she can't let go of him completely and maybe it's her way of punishing herself for being such a damn coward, but she listens to all of his messages. She goes to bed every night to a story he tells just for her.

She wonders if she'll have the strength one day to properly let him go, even though she already knows the answer.

-

"Hey, Jess, did you get your invitation to the wedding yet? I mean, Winston and Aly haven't sent them out but it will be in the mail soon, so you should keep an eye out for it. They're pretty, which means Aly probably picked them. I don't think Winston can actually see these colors. You'll know what I'm talking about when you get the invitation."

"Also, can you believe Schmidt thinks he has a chance at Best Man? He just doesn't understand... Chicago, you know? Winston actually hasn't asked me to be his Best Man yet but, he doesn't have any better options, right? Unless his dad shows up. Or maybe even my dad. That's my only competition."

"You better not miss that wedding, kid. Winston and Furguson really want you there and, and you still owe me a dance."

-

The first month comes and goes and Jess flies in from Portland bearing care packages from Big Mama P, who's kind enough to shoulder Jess's travel expenses as long as Jess comes back with sonograms of her future grandchild. Cece picks Jess up from the airport and, as it turns out, all of her friends are actually very horrible people, but she only comes to that conclusion after they pull up in front of a bookstore because that can only mean one thing.

"Cece, why are we here?"

Cece gives her this unreadable expression. "We're here for Schmidt. You know, my husband, father of my child." Her face softens. "You can just wait in the car, babe."

Weirdly enough, Jess does not wait in the car. A little door chime rings when she steps into the store but no one turns to look at her, as people tend to do with anyone when doors open. She isn't the one worth looking at in here.

Jess finds Cece sliding into a front row seat next to Schmidt, and they're obviously not here for anyone else unless Winston has somehow written a memoir already. Jess just stays in the back, observing.

And then there's Nick, standing in front of everyone, and then there's Jess, hiding in his audience. He starts and she listens and maybe, just a little, she hears herself in every sentence he makes and every paragraph he reads, in the words he dedicated to her. She breathes in the suspense and anticipation he builds, and for a moment she forgets the person that she is and sees the person that he's become. (And then she closes her eyes, because she sees what makes them so fundamentally different, too.)

A moment passes between the last words and the audience's reaction, and that's the moment Jessica Day chooses to slip out, leaving to the sound of applause. A chilly breeze goes by as she stands in the shadow of the bookstore. It's the middle of the summer and it shouldn't be this cold, but it is and it's just one more thing that doesn't feel right to her.

-

"Hey, Jess, do you think Pepperwood and Jessica Night should end up together? I mean, obviously, they're based on us, right? You know that. And we didn't work out, you also know that, but that doesn't mean fake you and me also have to not work out. Pepperwood and Jessica Night, you know. They're not, they're not actually _us_."

"And fans _really_ want them to get together. I dunno. I don't blame 'em. I... I kinda want them to get together too? In a way. It's getting really hard to explain why they shouldn't happen. See, Jessica Night showed Pepperwood that he deserves all this love and he, he kind of owes her for that, owes all that love back."

"You're the English teacher here, Jessica. I'm just the writer. What do you think?"

-

Another month passes and Jess feels the regret that comes with it. Though it isn't actually clear to her what part she actually regrets. Is it that she didn't go to see Nick, or that she went to see him at all? Sometimes when she is restless and sleepless, she thinks of him, but she thinks of him significantly less now compared to how many times she used to think of him before.

She still listens to all his messages, but she finally stops thinking of it as punishing herself.

That's how Jess realizes it's time to come back to LA.

Of course, she only figures that out because of Reagan Lucas, who runs into her, runs after her in the hospital after Cece's appointment. They spend their day together, sharing caramels and smiles, before they both have to go to the airport. At the gate, she squeezes Jess's hand.

"Wanna move to LA with me?"

Reagan is smooth and forward, she takes no shit, that's just how she is. Jess can't answer the same way so her mouth only makes sounds when she tries to respond and that makes Reagan laugh.

"I'm serious, Jess. When you're done with Portland, move in with me."

Whatever the reasons for the running, for the regret, Reagan asks Jess to let it go — let _him_ go — because Reagan has learned to love having roommates and she wants to move and live in LA again, and maybe she and Jess can do that together.

Jess doesn't say no, but she gets on the plane anyway. Because Portland has to be the best place for her right now, even if she can't see her friends outside of screens and she's only gotten to hug them twice in all the weeks that she's been gone. (And Sadie refuses to book extra appointments for Cece, because clearly she just wants more excuses to bring Jess down even if just for a weekend.)

Jess manages to stay three days before she gets restless and damns Reagan for getting in her head. But nicely. She damns Reagan nicely.

Two weeks later, Jess finally leaves her childhood streets behind because she's been there long enough, regretting things and not holding on but not really letting go either, so something definitely isn't working. And it's just time to come home, to be with her friends. She needs her sun, her ocean and sky. And she can admit, she really needs Nick too.

Reagan is right. She's done with Portland.

\--

Things get way too quiet in the loft, and though it isn't any louder, Nick goes up to the roof. It's a good place to look at the stars, or at least any that still dare come out in this city. And he probably should have brought something to drink because looking at the sky always circles back to other thoughts that he's worked very hard to bury over the years.

(The sky actually has nothing to do with it, just the silence and his brain working together to make him think about things he should stop thinking about, like dark hair and blue eyes and skin and lips and love. Except there's no point to it now because Jess isn't even around to make the thoughts dangerous.)

He takes out his phone, because he always does that now; he knows exactly how long he has to scroll before he gets to Jess's number. It's definitely some form of emotional self-harm, but he starts to talk, starts to tell her another story. Except he can't find the words tonight, because there's nothing to say — or maybe too much to say — so he goes for the one thing he wants her to hear.

"I miss ya, Jessica Day."

**Author's Note:**

> listen, i just think reagan is neat.... when she isn't with nick.
> 
> this fic got away from me a lot because we know in canon there's a lot of potential for jess-less shenanigans, and i was prepared to write them all. and i tried to, but they just didn't Vibe, ykno? the ones i liked most are passingly mentioned in the fic at least
> 
> anyway, up next: jess moves in with reagan, the schmidts throw a party, and there are goosebumps and champagne, and progress, maybe.


End file.
